When it is time to talk about assisted living... and why you should do it now?
Updated: Mar 22, 2020
Time, such a thief - how it allows you to make so many wonderful memories and when you are about to sit down and take a breather, you are surprised to see just how much time has passed by when you are making wonderful adventures with your loved ones.
Most adult children wish that the same mom and dad who carried them in their arms would be the same mom and dad who can carry them again when times get rough.
Because aging adults lose most of the strength they had in their youth, some family members may have a hard time dealing with the reality that one day soon assisted living will become a topic to talk about.
Senior care does not need to be a topic that family members want to avoid - it does not mean that because you are getting your parent's professional assistance with elderly care that you don’t want to care for them.
It’s a wise admission that you can only help to such an extent and that an expert needs to come in to make sure that your loved ones are assisted in the best way possible. In simple terms, you love them very much and you are willing to take the next crucial steps in order for them to get the right attention and assistance.
But how do you know if it is the right time to even consider assisted living? Here are a few things to consider from the experts -
Mom forgot to take a bath, again
So your parents live a couple of miles away and you and the rest of the kids visit every weekend to spend some time with them. Last week Dad forgot to throw the garbage on time and this week, Mom’s laundry wasn’t washed and she forgot to take a bath. She says it's normal because it’s a bit cold anyway - and you think it's okay.
Maybe, but maybe not. If they are forgetting their usual trip to the laundry or throwing the trash at night and simple tasks like bathing, then that should tick an alarm for you.
Check their food - have they been eating take-outs recently because Mom is not cooking her world-famous homemade meatballs or is the sink filled with unwashed plates?
If their ability to care for themselves is slowly becoming trivial then maybe it is best to start sitting them down to talk about Assisted living facilities.
The bills are in the mailbox, and past the due date
It’s Monday and Granddaddy usually calls during breakfast to say hi to the kids before they go to school and now the bus has left with the kids and still, no call. You drive to their house and looks like the door is unlocked, the table is a mess and the lights won't turn on. You wonder what happened - and it looks like you’ve figured it out.
The electricity, the phone line even the internet has been overdue and unpaid, and your dad was having a hard time maneuvering his car to go to you.
This is not normal, and you have to really consider the discussion of possibilities - do they need caregiver support or go to a retirement community or other senior assisted programs that can help them in the continuity of making their daily life easier.
No brainer: Medical attention is necessary
According to the National Council on Aging (NCOA) at least 80% of older adults have a chronic disease and 77% have two chronic diseases they could be anything from Diabetes, Stroke or any Heart Illness.
The better the accommodation, the care, and the attention the more chances that your aging loved, one can become better and more confident in time. Senior living, as well as other assisted living facilities, can help make the transition better and smoother for them.
Mom has been crying and it’s not because of a sad movie
Most parents will be the last to tell you they need help - let alone be guest to a facility where they know nobody. They will tell you they can live alone unaided without any help - but is that really true?
Most of the time when they’ve lost the energy to walk around the neighborhood or can’t cook because of weak hands, they just curl up and watch TV all day, isolating themselves which can sometimes cause depression and loneliness.
They need to be surrounded by other people their age to gain back their confidence and have normal daily conversations with someone who understands what they are going through.
Take that next step… and don’t stress it
If you have seen one or the other symptoms in your aging loved one, then the next step really is to take that next step - calling the assisted living facility of your chosen location. Aside from that, take a look at their reviews and check how their other ratings are in terms of safety and care.
Before going to the place itself check their website and take a look at some photos and consider the place first if it meets your parent’s personalities. Discuss with everyone in the family and get an agreement as to what place is the best for your loved ones.
If reading this article resonates to you, you might like to consider reading these posts:
Why Assisted Living is the Right Choice For Your Parents - (Blog post coming soon)
Your guide on Senior Living - and what kind of place to (not) choose (Blog post coming soon)
Tucson Assisted Living Retreat understands and cares deeply about each and every dilemma of all people involved - the hesitant parent, the worried adult children, and the family members who all have not been through this process before.
Our team consists of experts that have done this for years and have helped a lot of families steadily make it through the tough times into what are only better times ahead.
We make sure that you understand each and every new step you take into this new endeavor by explaining the process to you from start to end. Let’s talk today!